August 11, 2009

Journal notes: active v. passive

A blog reader requests clarification on active v. passive, with a few examples. Glad to oblige.

As men we have certain responsibilities. When we take a wife and have a family it produces certain patriarchal responsibilities that involve provision and protection. Eph. 5:25-33 suggests that our responsibilities are parallel to those of Christ to the church and gives clear guidance for that. What I see in that is unconditional love, of making special and set-apart, of teaching and guiding.

We are passive when we do not take the initiative in fulfilling our covenant responsibilities. We are also passive when we do not lead our families away from anything that would harm or bring reproach.

Adam failed because he did not keep his covenant responsibility to protect, guide and provide; and Eve felt she had to do this on her own. He stood there passively and witnessed the entire temptation and did nothing about it. When she invited him to join her in her failure he willingly obliged. He was passive.

Examples: Romance your wife. Regularly. Love her by talking to her and listening to her. Lead your wife, explaining why you want certain things done a certain way. Do not expect her to wait on you hand and foot and do not be demanding. Tell her what you want included in home schooling. Give her guidelines for buying clothes for the children, and make sure she has the money to get what she needs.

Spend time with the children and give them affection. Read the Bible to them, and if you’re not a good reader ask your wife to read and then comment as you can. Draw lines and set rules for behavior, for the amount of candy and toys you allow and explain why. Then be consistent. Set boundaries for friends, clothing styles, and time on telephone, television, and Facebook; and don’t give in to the “everyone else is doing it” argument. Monitor contacts with friends, particularly those of the opposite sex, and set rules for and manage courtships.

In other words, LEAD. Be out in front. Be the first one. Take initiative. Actively be the prophet and priest of your home. It takes a lot of time, and you will have to sacrifice a lot of things.

Remember you will have to stand before God one day to account for your life. He will not be interested in how many fish you caught, how many holes-in-one you managed, the horsepower of your car, or how much you accumulated in your 401(k). He will ask about how you managed the family he gave you. What kind of report do you want to give?

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