A couple of weeks ago our family watched “It’s a Wonderful Life,” the 1946 movie about George Bailey, the giving, thoughtful man who gets into trouble at Christmastime when his absent-minded uncle misplaces an $8,000 deposit. In one scene he is sitting in Martini’s Bar, at his wit’s end, and begins to pray. “God, I am not a praying man,” he says, “but if you are up there and can hear me . . .”
That line caught my attention, because I’ve heard it many times before: “I am not a praying man.” I have thought about it a lot because as a pastor I notice that men find it difficult to pray, both in private and in public. It is usually the women who pray. And when men do pray it is usually a last-ditch, when all else has failed, awkward effort. When all else fails, pray.
Why? Is it because resorting to prayer is seen as weakness? Failure of strength? I guess that might be the case for some. We think we need to be able to solve our own problems. We don’t ask for help, or whine, or cry, even to God. I do notice that in some men, but we don’t find that attitude in Scripture. The Bible is full of examples of men who pray.
But I’m wondering if most men don’t find it easy to pray (including me, and I’m a pastor!) because somehow our culture has made it difficult to pray. We have been conditioned for a feminized church culture where the women do the praying. And because women are more vocal, prayer has been modeled to us as wordy, flowery, and lengthy. For a long time they had to be offered in perfect Elizabethan English! Prayers we are accustomed to hearing are not the kinds of things we would actually say.
The problem is ironic, when you consider that Christianity stems from Judaism, a very masculine religion. Christianity itself was at its beginning very masculine. Jesus called men -- rough, hard-working blue-collar men -- to follow him in self-sacrificing discipleship. Their custom was to go to synagogue everyday, three times a day, to pray. They prayed, every day, three times a day, 19 fixed, simple, to-the-point blessings and requests for God’s watchcare and intervention. Together these are called the Amidah, and you can find them here. They were memorized for reciting every single day, three times a day.
When the disciples encountered Jesus in prayer they interrupted with the request, “Lord, teach us to pray” (emphasis added, but I think present in their conversation). He taught them a modified form of the Amidah. We call it the Lord’s Prayer. There is absolutely nothing wrong with reciting the Lord’s prayer every day. I make sure it is recited at every worship service in my churches, sometimes twice.
Jewish men also recited blessings throughout the day for ordinary things they would do or encounter. They usually began with, “Blessed is he who . . . ” Again, simple, memorized prayers recited at certain triggers. When the apostle Paul reminds us to pray without ceasing (1 Thess. 5:17) he is referring to this practice.
The early church gave us fixed prayers to recite based on this Jewish practice. The printing press and increased literacy made possible prayer books (like the Book of Common Prayer) which gave us a language and an expanded repertoire of prayers and collects for many occasions.
The point is that fixed prayers, memorized or read, can help us find the words to express what is on our heart. They were designed for men to use in a very masculine religion.
Another point to make is one that many miss. And that is, prayer is also listening and meditating. Men need times of solitude to get a way and think, meditate, or listen for God to speak. Jesus took lengthy periods of time (sometimes 40 days at a time) to get alone to pray. I think much of that praying was being silent before the Lord. I would find it hard to believe that Jesus would be in non-stop one-way verbal communication for 40 days. I personally think we would improve our prayer lives if we would stop the frazzled, roller-coaster life we have once in a while and go away for inactivity and silence before the Lord.
How can I be a praying man? Using fixed prayers I find in Scripture and long-time prayer books. Getting away and shutting up so that God can speak to me. Give it a try, and let me know what you think.
That line caught my attention, because I’ve heard it many times before: “I am not a praying man.” I have thought about it a lot because as a pastor I notice that men find it difficult to pray, both in private and in public. It is usually the women who pray. And when men do pray it is usually a last-ditch, when all else has failed, awkward effort. When all else fails, pray.
Why? Is it because resorting to prayer is seen as weakness? Failure of strength? I guess that might be the case for some. We think we need to be able to solve our own problems. We don’t ask for help, or whine, or cry, even to God. I do notice that in some men, but we don’t find that attitude in Scripture. The Bible is full of examples of men who pray.
But I’m wondering if most men don’t find it easy to pray (including me, and I’m a pastor!) because somehow our culture has made it difficult to pray. We have been conditioned for a feminized church culture where the women do the praying. And because women are more vocal, prayer has been modeled to us as wordy, flowery, and lengthy. For a long time they had to be offered in perfect Elizabethan English! Prayers we are accustomed to hearing are not the kinds of things we would actually say.
The problem is ironic, when you consider that Christianity stems from Judaism, a very masculine religion. Christianity itself was at its beginning very masculine. Jesus called men -- rough, hard-working blue-collar men -- to follow him in self-sacrificing discipleship. Their custom was to go to synagogue everyday, three times a day, to pray. They prayed, every day, three times a day, 19 fixed, simple, to-the-point blessings and requests for God’s watchcare and intervention. Together these are called the Amidah, and you can find them here. They were memorized for reciting every single day, three times a day.
When the disciples encountered Jesus in prayer they interrupted with the request, “Lord, teach us to pray” (emphasis added, but I think present in their conversation). He taught them a modified form of the Amidah. We call it the Lord’s Prayer. There is absolutely nothing wrong with reciting the Lord’s prayer every day. I make sure it is recited at every worship service in my churches, sometimes twice.
Jewish men also recited blessings throughout the day for ordinary things they would do or encounter. They usually began with, “Blessed is he who . . . ” Again, simple, memorized prayers recited at certain triggers. When the apostle Paul reminds us to pray without ceasing (1 Thess. 5:17) he is referring to this practice.
The early church gave us fixed prayers to recite based on this Jewish practice. The printing press and increased literacy made possible prayer books (like the Book of Common Prayer) which gave us a language and an expanded repertoire of prayers and collects for many occasions.
The point is that fixed prayers, memorized or read, can help us find the words to express what is on our heart. They were designed for men to use in a very masculine religion.
Another point to make is one that many miss. And that is, prayer is also listening and meditating. Men need times of solitude to get a way and think, meditate, or listen for God to speak. Jesus took lengthy periods of time (sometimes 40 days at a time) to get alone to pray. I think much of that praying was being silent before the Lord. I would find it hard to believe that Jesus would be in non-stop one-way verbal communication for 40 days. I personally think we would improve our prayer lives if we would stop the frazzled, roller-coaster life we have once in a while and go away for inactivity and silence before the Lord.
How can I be a praying man? Using fixed prayers I find in Scripture and long-time prayer books. Getting away and shutting up so that God can speak to me. Give it a try, and let me know what you think.
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