A praying man

A couple of weeks ago our family watched “It’s a Wonderful Life,” the 1946 movie about George Bailey, the giving, thoughtful man who gets into trouble at Christmastime when his absent-minded uncle misplaces an $8,000 deposit. In one scene he is sitting in Martini’s Bar, at his wit’s end, and begins to pray. “God, I am not a praying man,” he says, “but if you are up there and can hear me . . .”

That line caught my attention, because I’ve heard it many times before: “I am not a praying man.” I have thought about it a lot because as a pastor I notice that men find it difficult to pray, both in private and in public. It is usually the women who pray. And when men do pray it is usually a last-ditch, when all else has failed, awkward effort. When all else fails, pray.

Why? Is it because resorting to prayer is seen as weakness? Failure of strength? I guess that might be the case for some. We think we need to be able to solve our own problems. We don’t ask for help, or whine, or cry, even to God. I do notice that in some men, but we don’t find that attitude in Scripture. The Bible is full of examples of men who pray.

But I’m wondering if most men don’t find it easy to pray (including me, and I’m a pastor!) because somehow our culture has made it difficult to pray. We have been conditioned for a feminized church culture where the women do the praying. And because women are more vocal, prayer has been modeled to us as wordy, flowery, and lengthy. For a long time they had to be offered in perfect Elizabethan English! Prayers we are accustomed to hearing are not the kinds of things we would actually say.

The problem is ironic, when you consider that Christianity stems from Judaism, a very masculine religion. Christianity itself was at its beginning very masculine. Jesus called men -- rough, hard-working blue-collar men -- to follow him in self-sacrificing discipleship. Their custom was to go to synagogue everyday, three times a day, to pray. They prayed, every day, three times a day, 19 fixed, simple, to-the-point blessings and requests for God’s watchcare and intervention. Together these are called the Amidah, and you can find them here. They were memorized for reciting every single day, three times a day.

When the disciples encountered Jesus in prayer they interrupted with the request, “Lord, teach us to pray” (emphasis added, but I think present in their conversation). He taught them a modified form of the Amidah. We call it the Lord’s Prayer. There is absolutely nothing wrong with reciting the Lord’s prayer every day. I make sure it is recited at every worship service in my churches, sometimes twice.

Jewish men also recited blessings throughout the day for ordinary things they would do or encounter. They usually began with, “Blessed is he who . . . ” Again, simple, memorized prayers recited at certain triggers. When the apostle Paul reminds us to pray without ceasing (1 Thess. 5:17) he is referring to this practice.

The early church gave us fixed prayers to recite based on this Jewish practice. The printing press and increased literacy made possible prayer books (like the Book of Common Prayer) which gave us a language and an expanded repertoire of prayers and collects for many occasions.

The point is that fixed prayers, memorized or read, can help us find the words to express what is on our heart. They were designed for men to use in a very masculine religion.

Another point to make is one that many miss. And that is, prayer is also listening and meditating. Men need times of solitude to get a way and think, meditate, or listen for God to speak. Jesus took lengthy periods of time (sometimes 40 days at a time) to get alone to pray. I think much of that praying was being silent before the Lord. I would find it hard to believe that Jesus would be in non-stop one-way verbal communication for 40 days. I personally think we would improve our prayer lives if we would stop the frazzled, roller-coaster life we have once in a while and go away for inactivity and silence before the Lord.

How can I be a praying man? Using fixed prayers I find in Scripture and long-time prayer books. Getting away and shutting up so that God can speak to me. Give it a try, and let me know what you think.

Thoughts on prophet, priest, and king

In looking at the site meter I noticed that many readers find and click into my journal from Google searches for prophet, priest, and king. The concept is intriguing or intimidating, or both.

The thought that I need to learn how to be prophet, priest, and king in my home catches me off guard. The culture around us has tamed us into being “really nice guys.” In the entertainment media fathers are universally presented as clueless and irrelevant dopes. In the politically correct world patriarchy has been falsely reinterpreted to represent authoritarian abuse of women and children.

Also I think we have inherited from our first father the sin of passivity (or is it just plain laziness?) and have to work at being on top of things and leading our families in a godly way. We also have to struggle with selfishness and differentiation issues.

So how do we think of prophet, priest, and king in the modern context? I think you have to see the roles from the biblical intention, what God had in mind for each of these. Then I think you can make application.

The first prophets were seers, who had ecstatic experiences and spoke as the Holy Spirit gave utterance. Later they became messengers of God’s word to kings, interpreting Scripture. Prophets see and hear what God is saying and tell others so they can make good decisions. They use their wisdom and experience to “see” into the future and understand what will happen if we remain on a particular course. Prophets are eccentric and sometimes harsh in making a point.

Priest is advocate. Our best example of patriarch as priest is of course Job, who was concerned that his adult children might sin against God in their ongoing partying. So he offered sacrifices on their behalf continually. Sacrifice is the fundamental basis of worship, or approaching God. Under the Jewish order animal sacrifices were sufficient. In the church, only self-sacrifice, in the footsteps of Jesus, will do.

God meant for kings to be shepherds, or leaders of the flocks. Shepherds lead, groom, and provide healthcare for sheep so they will be profitable when presented at market. What goes into the development of sheep is intended to influence how profitable they will be later on. Shepherding people means discipling. Relationship. Pointing to a future direction.

See how these relate together? Prophet hears from God, while priest approaches God. King takes what has come from God and bestows into the lives of those in his charge.

It occurs to me that to do a good job as prophet, priest, and king, we need to be men of prayer. Which is a hard thing to do because our feminized world confuses prayer with long, wordy entreaties done just so. More than once I have heard the phrase, “I am not a praying man.”

So how can men pray? I’ll give that some thought and get back to you next week.

This is war

Please take time to listen to this sermon clip from Paul Washer. It inspires me greatly and I thought I would pass it along to you. If you would like to see a longer version go here.

Worship early church style

Bouncing off yesterday’s discussion of worship, I’d like to post the words to one of the early church’s oldest hymns, Te Deum laudamus (You Are God), dating back the 4th century.

The Te Deum was normally sung in chant. Note the depth of worship and sound doctrine, along with the thoroughly masculine themes. If you want to read more the history go here; if you want to hear it sung in Gregorian chant click here.

This version is from the Book of Common Prayer (1979).

You are God Te Deum laudamus

You are God: we praise you;
You are the Lord; we acclaim you;
You are the eternal Father:
All creation worships you.
To you all angels, all the powers of heaven,
Cherubim and Seraphim, sing in endless praise:
Holy, holy, holy Lord, God of power and might,
heaven and earth are full of your glory.
The glorious company of apostles praise you.
The noble fellowship of prophets praise you.
The white-robed army of martyrs praise you.
Throughout the world the holy Church acclaims you;
Father, of majesty unbounded,
your true and only Son, worthy of all worship,
and the Holy Spirit, advocate and guide.
You, Christ, are the king of glory,
the eternal Son of the Father.
When you became man to set us free
you did not shun the Virgin’s womb.
You overcame the sting of death
and opened the kingdom of heaven to all believers.
You are seated at God's right hand in glory.
We believe that you will come and be our judge.
Come then, Lord, and help your people,
bought with the price of your own blood,
and bring us with your saints
to glory everlasting.

I use this hymn in my own devotions and with family. The beautiful and profound words and depth of meaning add much to my spiritual life. It helps me to have a glimpse of heavenly worship and to worship God in spirit and in truth.

The early church provided resources like this to help men pray and worship God. Memorized prayers and hymns helped men find the language to worship and to lead their families in worship. They are preserved for us in books like the Book of Common Prayer.

The precedent for fixed songs and prayers goes all the way back to Judaism, where men went to synagogue together every day to pray 19 specific memorized prayers. Jesus amended those prayers for the disciples in what we call the Lord’s Prayer, and told them to pray in that fixed form every day.

I encourage you to find resources like this that work for you, and then use them in your own devotional life and when you lead your family to worship.

How does a man worship?

As a pastor I hear and read a lot about the worship wars. That is, the conflict between those who think we should worship in a traditional way, with liturgy, and those who think we should worship in a more contemporary way, with what is called “praise and worship.” The battle usually boils down to preferences for styles in music.

What would you say if I told you that the main issue in worship is not music? In fact, when worship is described in the Bible worship music is seldom mentioned. While we fuss over music styles and degrees of formality we are losing a more serious battle. Men are becoming bored with church and leaving in droves. Why? It is not because men are not spiritual, but because worship is not touching their hearts. It is not allowing them to encounter the living God in a deep and profound way.

Worship is that which ascribes glory and honor to God. It recognizes the power and greatness of God and realizes we are corrupt in his sight. There is a sense of awe and wonder at God’s glory, power, and mystery.

Two things about worship that we totally miss in the worship wars. First, worship is primarily sacrifice. From the first instances recorded in Scripture men took the first and best of their livestock and sacrificed it before God. This was huge when you think about the fact that food was extremely hard to come by and wealth was measured by the number of animals on the hoof. Do we have sacrifice as a component of worship today? No. The worship wars are not about worshiping God, they are about entertainment. We do not challenge men to sacrifice to God, a need that is written deeply within our hearts. We instead want to include them in our services and programs with lots of entertainment and touchy-feely sharing.

Secondly, worship is about challenge and life change. I appeal to Isaiah chapter 6, where the prophet-yet-to-be encounters a vision of heavenly worship and the One True God. Six-winged creatures fly tirelessly shouting (not singing) what we call the Sanctus: “Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts; the whole earth is full of His glory!” Isaiah is so deeply affected that immediately he is convicted of his sin. He then enthusiastically signs up for a hopeless mission because he is so moved and inspired by the spectacle. Isaiah comes from the encounter radically changed.

I am convinced that men need face-to-face encounters with the One True God that leave them awe-struck and so inspired they are ready to take on hell with a water pistol. They need to be captivated by the mystery of the holy and drawn to search out more. Happy-clappy praise and worship jingles, and touchy-feely love songs to Jesus will not cut it. Praise-and-worship is not worship in the biblical sense, even if it does quote Scripture. Liturgy is pointless unless it obviously points to Christ. Jesus motivated his disciples by intentionally pushing them into dangerous and overwhelming situations only to see him pull it out time and again. Every day was an adventure with Jesus. Men want to follow a dangerous and unpredictable God like Jesus.

Genuine worship for the man who has separated himself from the world and discovered his true heart will demand sacrifice and commitment. It will produce measurable change in his life. It will challenge him to do what it takes to serve the One True God. It will transform him to live his life as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God.

This is who I am

I am preaching tomorrow from John 6:35, 41-51. Jesus there declared to the large crowds hoping for a free lunch that he was the bread of life. That was quite offensive to the “Jews,” or religious leaders self-appointed to check out and approve all the new rabbis. “Isn’t this Jesus, son of Joseph, whom we know?” It seems they let familiarity breed contempt.

But they also let their own agenda breed contempt for God’s plan through Jesus. They had their own ideas of how and when God would manifest the Messiah, the bread from heaven, and they were darn sure it didn’t include Jesus, son of Joseph, the carpenter. Just give us another free lunch like you did yesterday and we’ll be on our way.

The way Jesus responded is instructive to our masculine quest. “I am the bread of life,” he maintained. He continued to insist it was through him, not the Jewish sacrificial system, that men could approach God. He continued to say, “This is who I am.” Jesus remained thoroughly masculine and refused to be redefined by repeated attempts to “bring him into line.”

In our culture, even at church, there is overwhelming pressure to conform to prevailing opinions and behavior patterns. In the same way Eve gave forbidden fruit to her husband standing with her and bid him conform to her disobedience, we have unrelenting pressure to drop our individuality and come in and “be like one of us.” We need to understand clearly that the pressure to “come in and be with me, like me” is inherently feminine, and without missional and moral reference points (see the post below), it leads away from obedience to God. Even if the collective purpose is admirable and noble and does a lot of good things, if it is opposed to what God has told us to do it is disobedience. God does not justify our weakness to conformity as easily as we do.

I do not want to give the impression that femininity is wrong, it is not. God created the female but he created her to be joined to her husband to live into his mission and moral compass and not the other way around. If the man she is joined to has no idea of his mission and moral standard (or fails to act on it as did Adam) she will be frustrated and eventually fall into Eve’s pattern of adopting her own. She will then want him to join her. If that happens it is not her fault, it is his.

If Jesus had given in to the unrelenting pressure to conform to the expectations of his time he would have failed, just as Adam failed. He would have yielded to the uninformed feminine. The opportunities to perform signs on the terms of the people he was trying to reach would have been useless, however dramatic. Everything had to be on Jesus’ terms, fully defined and fully adhered to. He had to continually say, “This is who I am.”

Jesus was completely masculine. He was separate. Though fully human he also was fully divine, with the mark of the Holy Spirit placed on him at his baptism. He had a solitary wilderness experience where he went away for 40 days to discover his identity and purpose. He then rejoined the first century Hebrew culture to become prophet to Galilee and ultimately sacrifice for our sins on his terms relative to his mission and moral compass. At no time did he ever back down. He never meant to be included, he always sought to include.

Paul put it this way: “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God” (Romans 12:1, 2). Our “reasonable service” or worship is living as set apart or sanctified unto God, not conforming to those around us.

Men, like Jesus, we need to be able to say, “This is who I am.”


I love this photo of rebels captured during one of the battles of the War Between the States. They are standing by the pile of logs, awaiting transport to the POW camp. I love the message that their facial expressions and body language shout to the world. “We may have been captured, but we are not giving in. This is who we are!”

Masculine spirituality

I read this article by Ken Drury on male spirituality that got me to wondering about spirituality in general and masculine spiritualty specifically. The author writes about obvious ways men relate to the world around them, but admits he really doesn’t know for sure what masculine spirituality is, so he really isn’t much help.

So what does it mean to be spiritual? In our postmodern world there is great interest in spirituality, and many ways to understand it. Spirituality is understood by many as having some tie to the spirit world, whatever that means. It often as described as a multi-dimensional awareness involving one or more deities.

I think genuine spirituality is tied to the biblical understanding that God created us in his image and likeness, to relate to him in some substantial way. God had ongoing interaction with Adam, walking with him in the cool of the day, until the fall. There was also the aspect of trust, responsibility, and accountability between God and Adam. God told Adam to tend the garden and avoid the tree of knowledge of good and evil.

In Hebrew thought the spiritual part of man is his inner core. His heart, mind, will, soul, and emotions. Everything that gives him identity and makes him who he is. It is his unifying center. “Keep your heart with all diligence,” warns the writer of Proverbs, “For out of it spring the issues of life” (Prov. 4:23). The state of health in our inner being affects what happens in life. It would seem to me that spirituality should be seen as the diligence we use to guard and protect our heart so that we can live into our calling and obey the Father. We employ what the church has called means of grace, or disciplines enabled by the Holy Spirit, to help us keep the integrity of our inner being as we follow God.

But what makes spirituality masculine? If masculinity is discovering who God created us to be and separating ourselves from ties that hinder that, then masculine spirituality must be the application of appropriate means of grace to accomplish that. It is living into the identity and purpose God has given us. It is guarding the heart and keeping it healthy, holy, and in communion with the Spirit of God.

Now Drury’s observations may become helpful. He essentially notes that men are wild, aggressive, risk-taking warriors. He says we are visually oriented and hands-on. We are earthy , informal, and somber sometimes to the point of grief. Our spirituality involves transforming these qualities through patriarchal responsibility.

Men should pray, but they shouldn’t feel compelled to pray long, wordy prayers. According to Jesus, the more private and brief the better (Matt. 6:5-13). As David and other writers of the Psalms did, they should feel free to express their pain and grief to God. Men should read and study the Scriptures, and seek to apply them to life and teach them to their families. Men should worship God and follow Jesus through sacrifice -- personal sacrifice as well as the sacrifice of the fruit of our work. This is a topic for another post, but biblical worship has little to do with what we get out of it, and much to do with what we sacrifice through it.

Masculine spirituality, I believe, is living into the call and purpose God has for us as men, to use our masculine qualities as gifts for the honor and glory of our God. It is guarding the deepest inner being within us so that we reflect and live out the imago dei, the very image of God within us, free from all restraint.