Patriarch Joseph

As we come into the week of Christmas our minds will inevitably turn to the Christmas story. A love story that turns complicated with the intrusion of an unplanned pregnancy, and a turn of events Hollywood could never make up.

We admire a brave young woman, barely marriageable age, and recently betrothed, for accepting the word of the Lord and agreeing to carry and give birth to the Messiah, despite the severe social consequences she will endure. We have to admire her courage. We have to applaud her willingness to give up everything to be obedient to God. She reminds us that when God blesses us he turns our world upside down.

As with many birth stories the focus most often is on the mother. I’d like to think today about the Christ Child’s adoptive father, Joseph the true patriarch.

He is a hard working carpenter, meaning he could be a wood-joiner and maker of furniture and other products from wood, or a stone mason, or both. He also has social connections. In fact, if it had not been for the Jewish captivity and the turn of history he would be king, a direct descendant of David himself. Prestigious among those who regard those things as important in his world, but not doing him much good in the Roman regime.

Now let’s consider his character. We are told he is a righteous man, and when he discovers Mary is pregnant during a time when she should be chaste, he decides to extend grace, and part ways privately and without allegation or charges. When the angel visits him in a dream to encourage him, he agrees to take her as his wife.

By taking Mary on Joseph willingly compromises his own reputation in the close-knit society of Nazareth. He publicly accepts responsibility (and the stigma) for what everyone assumes is immoral behavior and claims the unborn child as his own. The babe is thereby adopted and for all legal and practical purposes as the child of Joseph. He brings Mary and child under his roof, and accepts full responsibility for their care and protection. He also defers his own gratification until the child is born.

When taxation and registration force Joseph to travel to the home of his fathers, he takes Mary, “great with child,” with him. He assures her safety and makes sure she has somewhere to rest and give birth. After her purification, he presents the child in the temple and offers prescribed sacrifices for his “firstborn.” The Lord warns him of danger from Herod’s paranoia, and he takes mother and child away to Egypt to ensure safety.

We catch a glimpse of Joseph twelve years later, as the family travels with others home from the Passover observance at Jerusalem. When they miss young Jesus after a day of travel, Joseph returns to Jerusalem and searches frantically for three days before finding him in the temple, doing “his father’s business”.

We don’t see Joseph in person after that. But we do see the lasting impression he made on his Son, who at age 30 walked away from the carpenter shop to accept the call to be the savior of the world. We see Joseph’s willingness to obey at great personal sacrifice. We see Joseph’s ability to hear the Lord and to see beyond the immediate circumstance and to live for the greater good. We see Joseph’s ability to defer personal gratification. The mark of a true patriarch is to be able to recognize him in his children.

Joseph is a patriarch because he uses his masculine strength to protect, provide, and make a way for a brighter future. Not just for his family, but for all mankind.

A praying man

A couple of weeks ago our family watched “It’s a Wonderful Life,” the 1946 movie about George Bailey, the giving, thoughtful man who gets into trouble at Christmastime when his absent-minded uncle misplaces an $8,000 deposit. In one scene he is sitting in Martini’s Bar, at his wit’s end, and begins to pray. “God, I am not a praying man,” he says, “but if you are up there and can hear me . . .”

That line caught my attention, because I’ve heard it many times before: “I am not a praying man.” I have thought about it a lot because as a pastor I notice that men find it difficult to pray, both in private and in public. It is usually the women who pray. And when men do pray it is usually a last-ditch, when all else has failed, awkward effort. When all else fails, pray.

Why? Is it because resorting to prayer is seen as weakness? Failure of strength? I guess that might be the case for some. We think we need to be able to solve our own problems. We don’t ask for help, or whine, or cry, even to God. I do notice that in some men, but we don’t find that attitude in Scripture. The Bible is full of examples of men who pray.

But I’m wondering if most men don’t find it easy to pray (including me, and I’m a pastor!) because somehow our culture has made it difficult to pray. We have been conditioned for a feminized church culture where the women do the praying. And because women are more vocal, prayer has been modeled to us as wordy, flowery, and lengthy. For a long time they had to be offered in perfect Elizabethan English! Prayers we are accustomed to hearing are not the kinds of things we would actually say.

The problem is ironic, when you consider that Christianity stems from Judaism, a very masculine religion. Christianity itself was at its beginning very masculine. Jesus called men -- rough, hard-working blue-collar men -- to follow him in self-sacrificing discipleship. Their custom was to go to synagogue everyday, three times a day, to pray. They prayed, every day, three times a day, 19 fixed, simple, to-the-point blessings and requests for God’s watchcare and intervention. Together these are called the Amidah, and you can find them here. They were memorized for reciting every single day, three times a day.

When the disciples encountered Jesus in prayer they interrupted with the request, “Lord, teach us to pray” (emphasis added, but I think present in their conversation). He taught them a modified form of the Amidah. We call it the Lord’s Prayer. There is absolutely nothing wrong with reciting the Lord’s prayer every day. I make sure it is recited at every worship service in my churches, sometimes twice.

Jewish men also recited blessings throughout the day for ordinary things they would do or encounter. They usually began with, “Blessed is he who . . . ” Again, simple, memorized prayers recited at certain triggers. When the apostle Paul reminds us to pray without ceasing (1 Thess. 5:17) he is referring to this practice.

The early church gave us fixed prayers to recite based on this Jewish practice. The printing press and increased literacy made possible prayer books (like the Book of Common Prayer) which gave us a language and an expanded repertoire of prayers and collects for many occasions.

The point is that fixed prayers, memorized or read, can help us find the words to express what is on our heart. They were designed for men to use in a very masculine religion.

Another point to make is one that many miss. And that is, prayer is also listening and meditating. Men need times of solitude to get a way and think, meditate, or listen for God to speak. Jesus took lengthy periods of time (sometimes 40 days at a time) to get alone to pray. I think much of that praying was being silent before the Lord. I would find it hard to believe that Jesus would be in non-stop one-way verbal communication for 40 days. I personally think we would improve our prayer lives if we would stop the frazzled, roller-coaster life we have once in a while and go away for inactivity and silence before the Lord.

How can I be a praying man? Using fixed prayers I find in Scripture and long-time prayer books. Getting away and shutting up so that God can speak to me. Give it a try, and let me know what you think.

This is war

Please take time to listen to this sermon clip from Paul Washer. It inspires me greatly and I thought I would pass it along to you. If you would like to see a longer version go here.

The way of a man with a maid

Mature content warning: The content of the journal entries on “the way of a man and a maid” may be sexually explicit at times. Marriage is a covenantal sexual relationship between a man and a woman and there is no use in trying to politely explain that away. If you are squeamish over frank discussion of sex in a Christian context you might want to go to this website today instead. Seriously, I need to discuss content for mature men so please steer children away.

In a recent journal entry I promised to post some of my discoveries and thoughts on the love-respect relationship between a man and a woman. It seems that men and women regard each other in different ways, and these work together to create a deep and abiding relationship between the two which will last a lifetime and grows more intimate and intense as time passes. Men, as I am discovering, the majority of the responsibility lies with us to keep the intensity going.

Solomon confessed that “the way of a man with a maid” was too wonderful for him to understand (Prov. 30:19). Apparently he was right, because his 700 wives and 300 concubines, mostly taken for economic or political advancement, turned his heart away from serving the Lord (1 Ki. 11:1-8).

Even with all those wives to keep him satisfied Solomon struggled with marital fidelity. He apparently had an illicit affair with the Queen of Sheba when she paid him a state visit. She was overcome by his grandeur, and “there was no more spirit in her” (1 Ki. 10:5). She was seduced by his prowess. She made herself vulnerable and “spoke with him about all that was in her heart,” (1 Ki. 10:2) without assurance of his covenant commitment. Persistent rumor has it that she went home to Sheba, now Ethiopia, pregnant with his child, and that a line of Ethiopian kings descended from him.

Solomon’s problem was that he did not understand the relationship between genuine love between a husband and wife, and the sexual relationship they share as an integral part of that love. The way of a man with a maid is indeed complex, but taking the time to search out its mysteries and apply its wisdom will help marriages grow strong and deeply satisfying. In a time when now more than half of professed Christians divorce that is welcome news.

I have read that men tend to be promiscuous by nature, probably because our biological role in reproduction is limited to a brief encounter. Without covenantal and moral restraints a man moves from partner to partner for sexual fulfillment. In fact I believe this is happening more today as social restraints on sexual expression are being relaxed. I heard recently that as many as two-thirds of all births are by unwed mothers.

Ancient Hebrew culture developed patriarchy as a means of restraining sexual activity in a moral way, and redirecting masculine energies to caring for their wives and children. In Hebrew thought the image of father was one of adoptive love, covenant bonding, tenderness, and compassion.

Even in covenantal relationships the tendency to promiscuity is intense. Men are visual by nature and drawn to feminine beauty. We must establish disciplines and ways to redirect powerful attractions and drives back into our covenantal relationships with our wives. That is why understanding the way of a man with a maid is so critical.

Thankfully God has given us a way to direct our passions in holy and honorable ways. After all the marriage bed is indeed undefiled (Heb. 13:4). The Bible is clear that sexual energies are intended to be directed toward and contained within the marital covenant. If both husband and wife understand this, and respond in the manner in which God created them, the degree of intimacy and release will be fulfilling for both. But we must understand the mystery of the man with the maid.

The apostle Paul gives us what I believe is brilliant psychological insight with the language of wives submitting, husbands loving. This is grossly misunderstood and misapplied if not ignored today. But it remains in Scripture and must be equitably dealt with. The love-respect cycle between man and woman begins in courtship and really should be repeated throughout marriage. The circle should draw tighter and more intense through the years.

My next few journal entries will explore further the mystery of the man with a maid in the love-respect cycle. Be prepared for direct and mature content. It is essential to get the point across.

Patriarch as king

I am sure you have heard the old saying, “A man is king of his castle.” While the phrase is no longer appreciated in all circles it does, when understood correctly, describe the function of patriarch as king. According to Phrases.org the old adage dates to 17th century English common law, which held that a man had the right to protect his home and enjoy it as his refuge. It pointed to his right and duty to protect home and family from intruders, and to guide its affairs.

This is precisely the biblical concept of king as we apply it to patriarchal anointing. Men were set apart as king to govern the affairs of the kingdom under God. Throughout the Hebrew Scriptures kings are referred to as “shepherds,” and charged with the responsibility of leading and protecting the sheep.

It is clear that God intended Israelite kings to serve as first among equals. In Deuteronomy chapter 17 God gave Moses clear instructions for establishing kings. They were to be chosen from among the people, not a foreigner. They were not to focus on accumulating wealth or women. Most importantly, they were to borrow a copy of the law from the priests and make their own copy to have with them at all times. Hand-copying their own book meant they would be forced to go through the Torah word-for-word and therefore know its contents. Having it at their side would make it convenient for reference when needed.

Hebrew kings were to be different, set apart, from other kings. They were to rule with God’s vision in mind. In Hebrew thought rule means giving guidance and direction. Kings were also intended to provide protection from intrusion by raising, training, and leading armies. They were to defer personal benefit and enjoyment in order to serve God and people in their charge.

Applying those principles to modern patriarchy describes what I see a husband and father needs to do to be a man.

First among equals. A man is not greater than his wife in God’s sight. The Bible is clear, in the kingdom there is no longer male or female (Gal. 3:28). A man does not take a built-in slave when he takes a wife.  They should be like-minded, and headed in the same direction. Like the king in Hebrew thought, the man leads and governs from a biblical point of view. He is set apart for that with the masculine qualities God gave him and burned into his being. His wife joins him and goes with him, at his side, not ten steps behind.

Know and apply the Scriptures. As Israel’s kings were to copy and own their own Torah scroll so they would know them, men need to know the Scriptures and learn how to apply them. Men, we must be leaders at this. We cannot give appropriate spiritual guidance to our homes if we do not know the Scriptures.

Government. This refers to guidance and direction. The rule of kings was intended to guide the nation to where God wanted it to go, as the rudder of a ship governs its direction and course in the water. As husbands and fathers, we need to be in touch with the Father to govern our ship in the direction God would have it to go.

Protection. The English common law precept of a man and his castle comes from the Scriptural idea that men protect their people and property against intruders. Kings provided a means of defense for their people, including walled fortresses (castles) for protection. We need to build walls of protection for our families. This includes the obvious protection from physical harm. But it also means protection from the intrusion of culture into our homes through television, ipods, internet, and the influence of friends. We need to set boundaries that protect our wives and children. Ezk. 20:33 says, “I sought for a man among them who would make a wall, and stand in the gap before Me on behalf of the land, that I should not destroy it; but I found no one.”

Provision. It goes without saying that men are responsible for providing the physical needs of their families. Our culture wants to spread the responsibility to our wives so that we can have a materialistic standard of living. It may be nice to have two incomes and money to make payments on fancy cars, boats, large houses, and “man toys,” but let me emphatically state it is not biblical. God will look to men to be providers of material needs, and we will be held accountable. Much of what we deem “needs” in our materialistic culture actually indulge the lust of the eyes.

Patriarch as king of the home does not mean tyrant. It does not allow us to demand, “Woman, submit!” and trample over our wives and children. It is a servanthood where authority is recognized because of a role and earned because we humbly defer our own interests and desires to respond to duty and responsibility.

Jesus put it this way. He told the disciples if they wanted to be great in God’s kingdom they must first be servant of all. A good description of patriarch as king.

Hope against hope

Webster defined hope as “a desire of some good, accompanied with at least a slight expectation of obtaining it, or a belief that it is obtainable.” He also spoke of a “belief . . . grounded on substantial evidence.” When we speak of “hope against hope” we express hope even when the situation looks hopeless.

When Jesus came the Hebrew people were hoping against hope. They were about to lose hope. Many of them had given up hope for the promised Messiah. The official religious institution in Jerusalem seemed empty and self-perpetuating. It offered little hope for hurting people. Meanwhile the brutal Roman regime became more brutal and oppressive. Expectations for a better day, and the reasonable assurance that it was possible, waned.

Yet at the time Jesus began his ministry there was renewed hope. Old prophecies from Daniel calculated the days to the time of the coming of Messiah, and those days were just about fulfilled. John, the obscure prophet in the wilderness, arose to call people to repentance and to baptize them into a new order, a new kingdom of the Messiah, soon to come. Many flocked to hear him in the desolate places of the wilderness, many entered the waters of baptism, and sought to enter the kingdom. They renewed hope, saw the possibility of a new day into which they would live. Baptism became the portal of hope, the entry to a new kingdom and a new life.

Folks still remembered and recited promises of hope from the psalms and the prophets. The Lectionary texts we use today are a few of the many Scriptures that gave hope and promise to languishing people. For example, men who went to synagogue every morning for prayer heard and recited excerpts from Psalm 146, one of the “hallal” psalms. God is worthy of praise because we can trust him to help us in time of need. He is the creator of heaven and earth and sea, and all and all that is in them. He opens blind eyes, straightened bowed backs, executes justice for the oppressed, and gives food to the hungry. He gives freedom to prisoners, watches over strangers, and relieves the fatherless and the widows. He loves and execute justice. Against the brutality of everyday life under the Romans, there was hope.

Prophets like Isaiah were evoked to give hope. “Say to those who are fearful-hearted, ‘Be strong, do not fear! Behold, your God will come like a vengeance, with the recompense of God; he will come and save you.’” Isaiah promised a future where blind eyes would be opened, stopped-up ears would hear, and lame legs would run and jump. Dry desert ground would turn to fresh water springs. Despite the severity of everyday life under the Romans, there was hope.

So when Jesus began his ministry Scriptures like these flooded the minds of people about to lose hope. They gathered around him just to see it come to pass. Word spread so quickly even foreigners flocked to him to see if it were true. Once Jesus went to the region of Tyre and Sidon hoping to get a few days’ rest. No such luck. A Syro-Phoenician woman, descendant of Israel’s enemies of the past, sought out Jesus to rid her daughter of demonic torment. He ignored her, and then insulted her, but he could not get rid of her. “Even disgusting dogs get leftovers tossed out by wasteful children!” Fair enough, Jesus said, and he sent the woman home with the hope of finding her daughter delivered and whole. She was not disappointed.

Since his vacation was busted Jesus went home where crowds thronged him again. Some people brought a man deaf and mute, with the hope that Jesus would touch and heal him. After all, the prophets and the psalms tell of a day when blind eyes will be opened and deaf ears will be unstopped. Jesus took the man aside, put fingers in his ears, and looked up to heaven. With a sigh he said, “Be opened.” He was.

Everyone was amazed, but Jesus told them to no avail to keep it to themselves. They couldn’t help it. They were filled with so much hope. They just had to tell. Jesus gave them glimpses of the future reality with healings here and there, but in reality it was hope deferred to a later time, when the resurrection would complete the work Jesus began at the cross to make all things new.

This should resonate with us men. As I mentioned in a previous journal entry we are creatures of hope that is constantly deferred. But we cannot afford to lose hope. Like those of Jesus’ time who entered the kingdom through baptism, we also enter a new realm of hope through baptism. We live as though it were here, even though it is not altogether here. We still have oppression and injustice in the world, but we also have the guiding example of Jesus and the grace of the Holy Spirit to continually give us glimpses of our eternal future, glimpses of hope.

How do we live into that hope in the present time? The Lectionary this week points us to James, and to practical advice for living in impartiality and justice. Respect and treat people the same way regardless of social, political, or financial position. Live by the ”royal law“ and love your neighbor as yourself (Lev. 19:18). Don’t just give warm wishes, but kind and practical gestures that actually meet needs, and give glimpses of hope for a better day to come. James pointedly reminds us that “faith without works is dead,” and lets us know our hopes for eternal life after the resurrection are futile unless we are doing something to bring it to pass in some practical and tangible way now. Faithful kingdom building now brings the eternal kingdom even closer. And it fuels hope for the weary, so they have strength to look up and see that their redemption draws nigh.

Men, hope against hope. Even when it looks hopeless and you feel nothing will ever get better and the Lord will never return to begin the eternal kingdom, contine to hold out hope. Pray the psalms of hope. Declare the prophets of hope. Rehearse the victories of hope in Jesus’ ministry. Live in ever-present hope with impartial love and relevant justice.

Prophet, priest, and king

We have noted before that patriarch means “rule of the father,” and that ruling in biblical thought actually means guidance by teaching, praying, and leading. We discipline and direct our masculine strength into these areas on behalf of our families. It is a sacred trust, not to be abused, overlooked, or abandoned. There can be no such thing as a lazy, passive, or disobedient patriarch. We live into the role of patriarch by intentional diligence, initiative, and obedience.

Let me observe that if we have the responsibility to do these things then we have an anointing to do these things. That is, we are set apart (separated in the masculine sense), sanctified, directed, and empowered into these functions. Could it be that the much-needed separation from family of origin (Gen. 2:24; Matt. 19:5; Mk. 10:7, 8; Eph. 5:31), and spending time apart from them to discover our identity and direction for life, somehow is the place where God imparts this anointing on us before we are joined to a wife? Could it be that we need to have these roles and boundaries clearly defined before we are married? Could it be that separation and solitude are necessary to eliminate the distraction and confusion of unbroken ties (i.e., “apron strings”) when new vision is being set?

I know that Jesus received his anointing at his baptism and immediately went to the wilderness, alone, for 40 days and nights, “to be tempted by the devil.” From there he returned to Galilee in the power of the Holy Spirit. Jesus then functioned in three roles: prophet, priest, and king. First he was the prophet to Galilee, sent to the “lost sheep of the house of Israel.” Then he was priest, going to Jerusalem to become the “lamb slain from the foundation of the world,” and the once-for-all sacrifice for the sins of humanity. He continues to be our priest, sitting at God’s right hand, interceding for us. At his resurrection and ascension he became the king of all, and now expands the kingdom of God through the agency of the Church.

Of course the precedent for the anointing for the roles of prophet, priest, and king comes from the Hebrew Scriptures. When a man entered any of these offices a public pronouncement was made. A man in recognized authority poured consecrated oil over head of the man being set apart, and he was said to be “anointed.” Many times these men spent time in solitude, in the wilderness, alone, to hear from God and discover identity, vision, and direction for his role.

I am convinced that the patriarch is a man who is truly set apart and anointed by God for the task of patriarchy. We have the presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives to give us grace to carry out this calling and responsibility. Grace is the supernatural strength of God which rests in and upon us to amplify our own strength to accomplish his purposes. Because of God’s grace we can say with Paul, “When I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Cor. 12:9, 10). That is what salvation truly is, not “going to heaven when I die.”

And that grace is given to us to enable us to be like Christ, to sacrificially live and give as prophet, priest, and king of our homes. That is, we are given responsibility and grace to teach our families by precept and example. We cannot pawn that off on the Sunday school teacher or youth group leader. We have a duty to function as priest, to intercede on behalf of our families, and to take personal responsibility before God for their failures. We are expected to lead our families with vision, direction, and setting boundaries; to protect them from harm; and to provide for them.

These are non-optional for the patriarch. If we do not actively, intentionally, and aggressively do these things we are not patriarchal, we are merely taking advantage of our women and irresponsibly siring children to be sent aimlessly into a dangerous world to find their own way. This is reprehensible in the sight of God.

My next few posts will explore the roles of prophet, priest, and king respectively, and hopefully help us discover guidance for living into them as patriarchs.

The roles of prophet, priest, and king are depicted in this stained-glass window in the chapel of Wadham College (Oxford, England). The prophet is depicted by Moses (center), the priest is illustrated by Aaron (right), and the king is portrayed on the left. Click on the image for a closer look.

Stand firm

In a recent post we saw that Jesus intends the church to be the gathering of God’s people to advance the cause of the kingdom by working to manifest the agenda Jesus declared to his hometown synagogue in Luke chapter 4. A conquering king announces significant change for those who are oppressed. He tells us the kingdom advances against resistance by struggle and force (Matt. 11:12).

As I prepare to preach this week the Lectionary texts remind me of the ongoing struggle and encourage me to stand firm. The Gospel lection finds Jesus still contending with those who oppose him. The hard sayings give many John refers to as “disciples” to have second thoughts, to discontinue association with the rabbi from Nazareth. Jesus turns to the twelve, for whose benefit all this plays out, anyway, and sternly asks, “Are you leaving too?” By this time they have decided to stand firm, because Jesus is the only rabbi with the words of life.

We see Joshua, in the twilight of his life, preparing to hand over reigns to another leader. He speaks of the great conquest they have made to enter the promised land, this gathering of God’s people. As I read I think back with him to the days of invasion, when God told Joshua to be strong, to stand firm. He obediently followed the most outlandish battle plans he had ever heard, and saw the Lord’s power crush the formidable defences of Jericho. I see his voice trailing off as he reminisces of the great victories, one after the other.

As his mind is called back to the present he challenges the people. “Choose today which gods you will serve, but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!” Even at his retirement he is still taking a stand, still standing firm.

Paul tells us how to stand firm. Be strong in the Lord’s power, depend on his grace. He uses the metaphor of Roman military armor, outfitting the strongest armies the world had ever known, to describe the unspeakable strength we possess. The kingdom advances against formidable resistance -- principalities, powers, rulers of darkness of the age, spiritual hosts of wickedness. I think he is thinking of all the worst the adversary can muster against us in cultural mindsets, behaviors, and expectations. The same type of resistance Jesus encountered by the religious officials. Against all that he tells us to stand firm at least three times.

The armor is all too recognizable to Paul’s readers. It protects the well-trained soldier’s body from injury during armed conflict. But in metaphor it represents to us all those things to protect heart and mind from the cultural onslaught and resistance we will face. Pressure to conform. Name-calling. Verbal attacks. Emasculation. All the things the prevailing culture throws at us as “normal.” We resist all these with Christ-like character and the resolve to stand firm as Jesus did.

Armor does not imply weakness. It does not suggest we batton down the hatches and go passive, waiting for the Lord to come get us one day. Armor means we wear protection while we advance the kingdom. Armor means we are out where bullets are flying and we are at serious risk. We are on the offensive.

Paul uses similar language in 2 Corinthians chapter 10. We have weapons that are powerful to the utter destruction of strongholds of thought, belief, and behavior that resist the kingdom. Arrayed in full armor we advance against the defences of death with victory in mind.

Men, our mission is clear. Make disciples by recruiting people into committed learning relationships so that they can be freed from the ravages of living death Jesus described in Luke chapter 4 and be released from captivity, brokenheartedness, and poverty. It is aggressive and goes on the offensive. Forget singing about the sweet by and by. We are in a campaign for the dirty here and now.

The adversary will throw everything he can at you to protect his territory. Whatever he does, stand firm.